Meltblue -crack-
by imnotamaniac
Summary: Based on the Cheer AU's Cheeroba AU's Meltjaku AU...? Sly Blue's getting annoyed with the cheer squad and ends up doing something stupid. Oneshot.


_Cheer AU belongs to **nohomoujaku . tumblr .com**_

_Cheeroba AU belongs **nohomoujaku . tumblr .com** ?_

_Meltjaku belongs to **cheeroba . tumblr .com**_

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Sly leant against the bleachers, raising a lit cigarette towards his mouth. Inhaling, he looked around the field at the students wandering around carrying books or pom poms. The cheer squad were kicking their legs and performing all kinds of acrobatics; led by none other than Cheeroba, of course. Sly tutted and scowled at his whore of a cousin. Cheeroba was bending over so far anybody within a 50 mile radius could see his ass. And there was Cheeroba's boyfriend, the big red lump of muscle, watching him and growling at anyone who passed by.

Speaking of boyfriends, where's Melty? Sly wondered to himself, stamping on the cigarette. He nearly smiled at the thought of Meltjaku's gloopy skin and how warm he was – well, after he'd been in the sun anyway. Sly began absentmindedly playing with a strand of his hair, thinking about the crimson pile of sludge.

"Shly!" came a strangled voice from behind him. Sly spun around and gazed into Meltjaku's droopy, melting eyes.

Meltjaku somehow made his way towards Sly, leaving a trail of goo behind him. Sly reached out and gently touched his face. "Melty," he breathed.

"Hwart ur yu dhong?" Meltjaku croaked.

"Just… watching the cheer team," he murmured, turning away. Cheeroba was now giving that beastly creature a lap dance. Sly frowned at him. "They think they're so great."

"Churobba doen like mhe," Meltjaku choked.

"I know. He thinks that you're slimy and gross or something." Sly turned back to his sticky boyfriend and smiled at him. "He's wrong. You're slimy and sexy as hell."

Meltjaku's mouth formed a smile for a few seconds before it dripped off onto the grass.

Sly leaned towards Meltjaku and put his forehead against his partner's. "I love you Melty."

"E lhobe yu tu Shly," Melty replied.

Sly moved backwards and wiped the red goo out of his hair. "Come round tonight, babe. We'll have some fun in the shower."

He could hear the sound of somebody coming up behind him. He turned around irritably.

"Hey, Sly~," Cheeroba drawled. The rest of the cheer squad shuffled behind him uncertainly.

"Piss off," Sly retorted.

Cheeroba faked disbelief. "Ugh, you're so rude!" he screeched.

"Whugt yu won?" Meltjaku said slimily.

Cheeroba screamed. "AHHH! It's the melty freak!"

Sly stepped forward angrily. "What was that?"

"I said, it's the melty freak. God, have you got his gloop in your ears or something?"

He probably did, but it didn't seem like the right time to mention it.

"Anyways, loser, you need to get off the field because the game's starting soon and we don't want any creeps or gloopy freaks near us while we're cheering." Cheeroba made a shooing motion with his hand.

"You think you're so brilliant because you can do a few gymnastics," Sly snapped, "And because you can shake your ass and have all the boys do your bidding, but guess what, you're just a stupid whore."

Cheeroba raised an eyebrow. "You think you're better than me? You've had sex with a puddle of jello!"

Sly gritted his teeth.

"Come on cheer squad, we have things to do, unlike some people." Cheeroba turned around and walked off, shaking his hips with every step.

Sly imitated him. "Look at me, I'm so great cause I dress like a cheap prostitute and I can throw pom poms around."

He threw out his arms and felt something sticky running down them.

"Oh my-"

He looked at his fist and saw red gloop all over it. His arm had gone straight through Meltjaku's head.

"NO! Melty!" Sly yelled as Meltjaku melted. He stared desperately into the two eyes floating around in the gloopy puddle. "What should I do? Should I call an ambulance?!"

He touched what he assumed was the rest of Meltjaku's head. The slime on his arm joined with the puddle. He felt a wetness in the corners of his eyes – whether it was tears or slime he didn't know.

"I'm so sorry, Melty…" he whispered.

"E lhobe yu, Shly."


End file.
